And just to clarify, I don't have anything in particular to get off my chest, in case you were wondering. It's just that life, with all its little daily intricacies, has got on top of me tonight - and I feel downright irritable. Nothing major has caused this, and I should know better by now than to mope and feel sorry for myself.
However, this is my blog and 'I do what I want, cuz I can'...
(and if you're bored, you could just use this post as an exercise in counting: for example, how many times does the word 'just' appear in these humble lines?...)
Anyway. Tonight, I am hyper-irritable. And before you ask: yeeeeeeees, it is that 'time of the month'.
But still, who gave my children the right to be so unbelievably annoying??? Obnoxious, selfish, rude, smelly, and noisy?? And how come they all come back from a lovely brisk walk on this crisp autumnal day grumpier than when they set off??!
Why can they not just enjoy simple pleasures of life such as playing in mud, kicking a football around the garden, or just sharing a nice evening meal with their loving, doting mummy and daddy...?? Why the constant urge to fight, to whine and find fault with the slightest thing, to shout, throw rice and bits of sausage across the room - and spill water in MY plate of food, for goodness' sake??!!!
So we come back from the walk that was supposed to make everyone happy, and the 2 'little ones' are crying, while the older one is harassing his father incessantly to take him 'on a trip' (this is code for: 'I want you to buy me the new "Clone Wars" DVD'...). Needless to say the little ones just get plonked in front of the TV, while Sam is absolutely NOT taken on a trip to buy Clone Wars.
Mark and I then decide to speed up the whole bed-time process, so that we can get some peace and quiet at last. But the irritation grows, and becomes nearly physical - to the point where I'm almost itching myself...
This is where I start updating my Facebook status:
6:12pm - Rachel is INCREDIBLY irritable... >@( *this is supposed to be a cross face, by the way...
6:19pm - Rachel is INCREDIBLY irritable ... and cannot WAIT for everyone to get to bed... AAAAARGHHHHH!!!!!
6:42pm - Rachel is so irritable she will now leave the house and go on a quest for chocolate and wine.
7:29pm - Rachel has wine, and chocolate... Phew!
7:37pm - Rachel is wondering whether to eat the 2nd one??
8:57pm - Rachel ate the 2nd one... Yum!
And in case you're wondering what 'the 2nd one' referred to, have a little peak here...
I mean - can you blame me???!
Anyway, after the latest update, a friend comments 'I bet you feel soooo much better for it!'... I reply: 'well, I feel a bit sick actually... Oh dear :$ (I think that's what they call instant gratification??)' *maybe that should've read 'divine retribution' instead - but I believe in grace and forgiveness, which is just as well.
So, to conclude this little rant, I will say that the chocolate and glass of wine (red - please...) did help, somewhat. I feel a tad less irritable, or more chilled out, depending on whether you are a 'glass-half-empty or glass-half-full' - type person. Sam, our 8 year-old, is still struggling to get off to sleep, and it's 22:28 pm. I think he inherited that from me, poor boy :o(
I am now feeling sick and headachy, from the chocolate and the wine, and my bed beckons.
But when all's said and done, I'll start again tomorrow: do my best to live life to the full, whatever it brings, 'for better, for worse' (they didn't tell us, when we made those vows, that they extend for the most part to whatever offspring is thrown in to the mix...). Do my Utmost for His Highest, knowing that when tempers fray, and all isn't 'hunky dory', by His grace, and with a bit of help on the side (in the form of chocolate and wine, Facebook and blogging), I'll make it to another bedtime, and be grateful for it all - and especially wine, and chocolate.
PS: and that's 10 'justs', just in case you couldn't be bothered to count them all up after all. Oooops, nope, make it 11...!! Is that right?? Or did I miss one...?