Thursday, 19 June 2008

PERMISSION TO SCREAM... (*updated)

I'm sorry...
I'm going to scream:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH......!!!!!!!!!
!"£$%^@&*()(%$£%(*&^%$£"!"£$%*&^%^&%$%^%$££
@$%^&*&^%***£$%^$^&^*&$55987^*%&6547^*)
(&_90U)(^0876*)&(*uS98tb8DGTY(h*u

(OOOPS apparently I swore as well...)

Aaah. That's better.
My apologies, blogworld!

I will elaborate in my next post, with the hope that, by then, I will have gained a little perspective.
Suffice to say for now that I'm not particularly enjoying parenting my 7 year-old at the moment.
For those of you who pray, PLEASE please pray for a breakthrough - instead of a breakdown - in my relationship with my eldest son. I love Sam, but he is driving me to distraction. It's tough. Full Stop. Period. Whatever.
_______________________________________________________

* Well it would seem that there has indeed been a turnaround since I wrote this, which was only last night, but feels like forever ago.

I guess with ADHD, there is a lot of unpredictablility. And I'm having to learn to cut Sam a bit more slack than maybe one would under different cirumstances.

So after posting the above, I was desperately praying for some answers. And unearthed the wonderful book on ADHD by Dr Christopher Green, called "Understanding ADHD". What a godsend, and what fount of wisdom!! After reading the chapter on 'Encouraging self-esteem' I realised where I had been going wrong. It's an easy, typical, well-known parenting error...

I had recently become totally bogged down by Sam's negative behaviour, and his persistent refusals to cooperate with anything I was asking of him; and in doing so had stopped looking at all the positive stuff, all the praise-worthy aspects of his behaviour, of which there are many - many more than I give him credit for... I had even started putting him 'down', and attacking him as a person, sometimes calling him 'stupid' - which is a NO-NO in parenting at the best of times!!
Oh my how I've gone wrong!!! I felt really convicted reading this and felt I needed to say sorry. And I have turned over a new leaf, as of this morning. It feels like night and day. He told me 'I love you Mummy' at least 5 times today. We have laughted, tickled each other, and been really good friends.

I will write more some other time about this wonderful, amazing, bright, big Sam of mine. But for now, all is well, and there is definitely healing in the praise of a child. God is so gracious!!

3 comments:

  1. I'm glad that we don't need to be perfect parents and that even when we screw it up and make a mess that God can recover, redeem, reclaim and renew.

    Be encouraged...God can do far more than we can ask or imagine.

    :)

    PS - That said, I got as far as the third stage of the recipe before realising that this wasn't an inspirational recipe posting!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi Rachel

    My friend has just come to stay and has her son on something called the fail safe diet. She says (and I do agree) that his overall ability to control himself is 1000 times improved. It basically cuts preservatives, colourants and selenium out of the diet. Hard work as far as food is concerned but a much happier, controlled little boy!!

    Please send me a normal email sometime as I don't seem to have your email address...

    Lots of love B

    U R Welcome to visit the garden anytime :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. yay for a renewed since of hope in parenting and child! His mercies are new every morning...

    ReplyDelete

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